To separate yourself from the crowd, you must stand out in a sea of average. To stand out, do the opposite of average.
Getting better is hard. We all need help. Even the highest level professionals in the world have a coach. Use these tips and strategies to help yourself get a better today.
Confidence
Confronting Conflict is an Important Step in Building Your Confidence
“Conflict is going to happen all the time. Conflict is part of a normal, healthy, functional relationship. This is how we get things to change.”
You cannot avoid conflict. In fact, you need to embrace it as a necessary part of your development and growth.
This article by Katrina Schwartz is geared toward helping girls confront conflict in their lives. Even though the target audience is girls, the article is packed with great guidance everyone can understand and apply in their lives.
Bringing conflict to the forefront and dealing with it in a healthy, productive way is key. Too many people avoid these situations or pretend like they don’t exist. This passive approach allows the situation to fester until it boils over and causes more harm than necessary.
Many people avoid conflict because they “lack a script” to confront it. “They literally don’t know the words. They also lack the permission; they feel like something is wrong with the friendship if they have conflict.”
This is an unrealistic expectation for relationships. Conflict is going to exist and it must be addressed.
It is also important to remember both sides contribute to a conflict. When confronting it, you must be aware of what role you played in the issue.
Effective conflict resolution requires a variety of tools. You will not use the same skills every time.
Your confidence will grow as you develop different strategies to confront the conflict in your life.
Composure
Get Control of Your Emotions or They Will Control You
Your life is filled with complex and ambiguous problems that can quickly change with your current circumstances. Emotions play a big role in how successfully you navigate these unique situations.
Emotions help you make decisions, prepare for quick actions, and promote learning but they are by no means always helpful.
They hurt when they are the wrong type, happen at the wrong time, and/or are shown with the wrong intensity.
Your emotions can lead you to do things that cause suffering to yourself and those around you. When emotions happen at moments of opportunity, the importance of proper regulation is unmistakable.
Emotion regulation is how you reduce or enhance which emotional experiences you have, when you have them, and how you experience and express these emotions.
Emotion regulation (I call it composure) is important because it can help you benefit from what is useful about your emotions, but avoid what is harmful.
We have all come face to face with situations in our lives where emotion regulation was crucial. We know all too well that emotions matter.
When they go wrong, we want to do something about it. That is where emotional regulation comes in.
With proper emotion regulation you can reduce or enhance your emotional experiences through various behavioral or mental control strategies.
Consistency
What is Agency
“Agency is a philosophical term that refers to one’s ability to act in a given situation. When discussing the nature of free will and responsibility, it is important to be mindful of how much agency a person has. If there’s an electrical fault in your house and you’re alone, there might not be anything you can do about it. If you’re a trained electrician, there might be a great deal you could do to fix the problem. However, being knowledgeable about electronics might not be enough if your tools are at your workplace. Thus, agency depends on both having the knowledge and having the means.” – Philosophical Therapist
Quote of the Week:
“You can borrow knowledge but you can’t borrow execution.” – Shane Parrish
Be excellent this week. Do the opposite of average!
Yancey Sanderson
Follow me on Twitter @YanceySanderson
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